How to give a woman the best oral sex

For many women, orgasming is physical and mental; they need to feel relaxed and in the mood. “So much of oral sex is the lead-up to it,” Richmond notes. “Don’t dive right for the clitoris. Begin by making out and exploring other areas first,” she says, such as:

The breasts and nipples are very sensitive, and beginning by lighting stroking, circling, or licking the nipples, or gently cupping the breasts, can really turn your partner on during.

As you begin heading down, build up the anticipation by nibbling or licking their inner thigh, Richmond recommends. Feel free to explore other areas with your mouth or hands as well, like the neck, stomach, and butt.

Stroke the vulva or clit with underwear still on. Again, you’re building anticipation—you could even pull their underwear to the side when you’re ready for contact.

Try running your tongue up and down with underwear still on, or using your breath to warm up the whole area.

“The clitoris is queen,” Engle says. “Always and forever. Never forget it.” When in doubt, keep your focus here, and listen to your partner as they respond to the types of clitoral stimulation.

Starting off, it’s a good idea to go slow. Dance around the clit with your tongue, or lightly graze it to start building sensation.

Listen to and feel your partner respond as you lick their clit either up and down or side to side. You should be able to tell which they prefer, and it never hurts to ask if they like it!

Some like this and some don’t, but you can try lightly sucking on the clit between strokes if they’re into it.

Along with up and down, and side to side, Engle says a figure-8, or infinity, motion can also work well.

If your partner is clearly enjoying what you’re doing, stay consistent as far as the movement and rhythm. Constantly switching up techniques or speeds can make it harder for them to settle into the sensation.

As the name suggests, another technique is to write the alphabet with your tongue around their clit. Lots of different letters equals lots of sensation.

Plenty of people are just fine with solely clitoral stimulation while receiving, but others may prefer extra stimulation such as penetration, Richmond notes. Here are some ideas to that end:

Don’t forget about the lips! The labia (both the inner and outer sets) are sensitive too, and stimulating that area can offer a more all-encompassing sensation.

To really expose the clit, don’t be shy—spread the labia apart and your partner will feel everything a lot more intensely.

Again, breasts and nipples are super sensitive—some folks orgasm fom nipple play alone. With a free hand, reach up and grab their breast and/or rub their nipple as you’re going down on them.

If your partner likes to be penetrated during oral (some don’t, so ask!), you can use one or two fingers to penetrate the vagina. Just don’t “smash them inside willy-nilly,” Engle notes. Lightly stroke the G-spot with your fingers in a curling motion while licking their clit.

Some people enjoy penetration from the tongue when getting head, but it doesn’t offer as much stimulation as licking the clit, for example. See how they respond, and if they like it, alternate between the clit and vagina with your tongue.

Some people enjoy anal stimulation while receiving head, whether through your fingers or mouth. Again, always remember to get consent, and make sure you know what their hygiene preferences are as well. (Taking a test run in the shower is a good place to start if you’re squeamish.

Sex toys don’t just have to be for solo fun, and they can be a great addition to a healthy sex life with your partner. Plus, the options are endless based on what you and your partner like. Think vibrators, butt plugs, nipple clamps—whatever you’re into, really.

If you and your partner are both down for a cinematic experience, watching oral sex porn can add a little extra spice (and inspiration) to the experience.

Depending on how long it takes them to orgasm, switching up positions can be a good way to stimulate different areas and create different sensations. Here are a handful to try:

The Kiving method involves the receiving partner lying on their back, and the other giving head from the side, so they’re perpendicular to their partner’s body. This position offers a new angle, more vulva stimulation, and the potential to reach more sensitive spots.

From a doggy-style-like position, give them head from behind. This position is also great if your partner is into rimming, as well. (A dental dam might be a good investment if you’re new to this.)

A go-to position for many, this one offers a good angle for the giver, plus lots of access to the rest of the receiver’s body–like grabbing breasts or their butt. To turn up the heat, throw out a “sit on my face” when you initially start hooking up, or whenever you want to change positions.